pre-marriage questionnaire

Pre-Marriage Questionaire

Basic Information

Wedding Information

Christian Faith

Motives for Marriage

The Qualifications for Marriage

As pastors at Redeemer West Side, we believe we are responsible before God to marry only those people who have God’s blessing for the marriage and who are prepared for the demands and responsibilities of this relationship. The questions included below help us know how to best prepare you for your marriage.

Marriage is work! Just as you need qualifications for a job, so there are qualifications for marriage. 

1. You must have a similar commitment to Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14).

Being in covenant relationship with God is where you get the strength and love to really meet the demands of marriage. Without God, our natural selfishness prevents relationships from really blossoming. Sin destroyed the oneness between Adam and Eve (Genesis 3). 

This is why a Christian pastor cannot marry a Christian to a non-­Christian. From a Christian perspective, the heart of the marriage is deep oneness. If your spouse cannot understand the central motive of your heart and the driving force of your life, how can they have deep unity with you? 

The only way to have a tolerable marriage with a non­-Christian is to push Jesus away to the periphery of your soul. Either Christ will be central and your marriage relationship will be secondary, or Christ will be on the periphery and your marriage relationship will be central. 

No matter the religious tradition, few rabbis or Muslim clerics or Christian pastors or marriage counselors would advise two people who differ on the most important commitments of their lives to marry. There can’t be intimacy if two people differ in those central commitments.

Is there agreement between you and your future spouse in this central area? Is there a similar commitment to Christ?
Are you and your future spouse both active as members of a church?


2. You must be mature enough and willing to build a marriage based on the principles of God’s word.

The way to handle a machine so that it works properly is to follow the manufacturer’s directions. Ignore the instructions, and there will be breakdown. 

Freedom comes from following the rules of the creator. This means you must be willing to talk through and solve problems God’s way. 

For example, have you been engaging in sexual relations? Are you willing to accept God’s word that this practice is wrong?

Are you presently sexually active with your fiance?


3. One of the most important qualities of a healthy marriage is the ability to handle conflicts and communicate appropriately.

If you don’t base your relationship on communication now, it will be much hard to do so later.

Make a list of the problems or disagreements you are having now. Then make a list of ones you have solved satisfactorily.

Was your divorce biblical (on grounds of adultery/willful desertion by an unbelieving partner)?
Did you seek reconciliation with your former spouse?
Are you currently under discipline from another church body regarding this divorce or any other matter?
Are you free to remarry at this time?